Get Rich or Ty Tryon

I saw a sign today offering a $500 reward for information that leads to the capture of anyone who sprays graffiti on a public building.

Then, I read that a New Yorker was recently fined $300 for a "graffiti-related" offense.

$300 fine? $500 reward? That's called a $200 profit where I'm from, son.

So who's with me? I'll spray-paint the building. You turn me in. I pay the fine. You collect the $500. We split the resulting $200 70/30. I get $140 for my troubles. You get $60 for being a good and noble citizen.

* It should be noted that my "tag" is an elaborate cuneiform symbol that, when translated, means "Urdu" in Spanish and "Spanish" in Urdu. I'm just saying that it might take some time for me to paint this, is all. So I might get caught before we can cash in. Keep this in mind.

** It should also be noted that fining someone for chalk drawings is fucking insane.

*** It should be further noted to any authorities or potential future employers that I am totally kidding about all of this. Besides, $200 is small-time. If I'm in a swindlin' mood, it's Ponzi Schemes all the way for me.